Questioned Apocolypse
by hauntedd
Summary: Post Abandoned. Hurley wonders what life would be like without him, and he's got two very snarky guides to show him exactly what that's like.


Title: Questioned Apocolypse

Author: hauntedd  
E-Mail: Pairings: Hurley/Claire, Shannon/Boone, some Shannon/Sayid, and hints of Jack/Kate and Jin/Sun  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: Yeah, the characters aren't mine... if they were, Shannon and Boone would be alive.  
Summary: Post Abandoned. Hurley wonders what life would be like without him, and he's got two very snarky guides to show him exactly what that's like.  
AN: This fic is written for fadingspark for the losthohoho fic exchange, the challenge was Hurley decides to throw a celebration for a holiday with the pairings Hurley/Claire, Shannon/Boone, and Jin/Sun. Happy Holidays!

Hurley sighed as he looked at the makeshift calendar on the hatch wall. It was Christmas day, not that it really felt like it without his mama's incessant nagging about getting all the regalos wrapped, and the arbol not being big enough. Christmas was always his favorite holiday, and songs like "Feliz Navidad" never bothered him, even when his abuelo put them on repeat.

Oh god his abuelo, his bad luck had killed him. Hurley frowned and turned away from the calender and back to the blank computer screen in front of him. Why had he agreed to do this anyway? The numbers were bad, they just destroyed everyone around him. First his abuelo, then breaking his mama's leg, and then Steve and Kristen who sat behind Claire on the plane and many nameless others in the crash. Plus there were those island deaths too, the marshal dude, that chick who drowned, Scott, Boone and most recently, Shannon.

"Dude if I hadn't been born those people would be alive" Hurley mused sadly, staring at the machine as the clock wound down. Without thinking, he entered the numbers he knew by heart. 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. He got up from the computer after forcing down the execute button when he felt woozy.

"Uhh" he grunted as he stepped forward, the waves of dizziness overtaking him as he fell to the ground.

Hurley winced as he opened his eyes, bright sunlight blinding him. When had he managed to get outside? He wondered idly. The last thing he remembered was the hatch and the numbers. Oh god who was going to put in the numbers? The last thing he needed was to be the cause of the island blowing up.

"Boone, did you have to be so dramatic? First you make him faint, then you drag him out here, and now you want to act like we're the ghosts of Christmas or whatever?" He heard a voice snap and his dark eyes widened in surprise. Shannon was here? And so was Boone? Did he die and this was god's way of punishing him? By sticking him with the two sparring siblings? He liked Shannon alright, but Boone was kind of creepy.

"Shan, I just want to have a little fun."

"Oh yeah, like the fun you had when I died? Newsflash asshole, if you were still alive, you'd never make it as a comedian!"

"Oh what, like the whole situation wasn't hilarious. The dude tells you he'll never leave you, that he loves you and then what do you do? You leave him. And after the kid tells you to shut the fuck up and stay put too." Boone retorted before his face erupted in laughter. Hurley inwardly cringed at the harshness of Boone's reply. If that was what really happened, it wasn't funny, it sucked. A lot.

"I hate you, seriously." Shannon huffed and moved closer to him, running a hand over her face to mask her tears. Who knew that undead people could still cry? His mama was right, he did learn something new every day.

"You're just mad because you're stuck doing this and not haunting the bitch who stole your life" Boone retorted, referring to Ana Lucia. He wouldn't blame Shannon if she was angry that whatever afterlife boss she had wouldn't let her spend her days haunting Ana. That bitch had piss and vinegar running through her veins, and Hurley would not mind Shannon scaring the fear of Dios into her.

Wait, if the two of them were dead, and he could see them was he dead too? He opened his mouth to voice his question when Shannon interrupted him.

"Fuck you Boone" Shannon snapped and he smiled a little to himself. He never really realized until now how quiet the camp was without Shannon.

"Later" Boone leered and Hurley blanched. There was no way that the two of them were actually going to make good on that, was there?

"Never."

Oh there was a god. The idea of two siblings having sex, even if one of them was as good looking as Shannon was just disgusting. He may be dead, or crazy, well crazier than he had been in the mental hospital because he was seeing dead people like that little kid in that stupid movie, but he could only stand so much.

"Admit it Shan, you like the way I make you..."

"DUDE!" Hurley interrupted and got up from the ground, having heard enough His head hurt just from listening to that brief exchange between Shannon and Boone, and the idea of an entire afterlife with them was getting less and less appealing.

"Hi Hurley" Shannon greeted with a sheepish grin.

"Don't you 'hi, Hurley' me. Please don't tell me that you two... ewww. Where were you raised, West Virginia?"

"We're step siblings" Boone supplied with a shrug. Hurley paused and then stopped, finally all the jealousy and overprotectiveness made sense. Boone was in love with his sister... err stepsister. And now he got a one way ticket to watching this sick soap opera for the rest of his after life;. Just what he always wanted.

"It was a mistake, I was drunk" Shannon rushed out and blushed under the larger man's scrutiny. He could tell that the last thing she wanted was Hurley to tell Sayid about her sordid past. Yeah, like I'm going to do that, Hurley thought to himself. He saw what happened to Sawyer over Shannon's inhaler, and while he was on much better terms with Sayid than Sawyer, the idea of bamboo shoots up his fingers was not appealing.

"Yeah, the first time..."

"Shut UP Boone" Shannon barked, moving away from him. Yeah, and he thought he had issues. The two of them definitely had more than a few things to work out.

"Okay, Okay I'm so sorry I asked. So, am I dead?"

"No." Boone answered quickly.

"Don't lie to him!" Shannon exclaimed as she brushed a stray piece of hair from her face.

"Right, Shan, because honesty has always been something that's important to you" Boone retorted. Yeah, every time either one of them opened their mouth, the idea of an after life with the two of them was less and less appealing. But Shannon at least seemed keen on telling him the truth, which gave her a leg up on her brother.

"Dude, could you let her talk!"

Shannon gave Boone a satisfied smirk and then turned her attention toward Hurley. Some people never change, Hurley thought as he tucked a stray curl behind his ear.

"Okay so you know that movie iIt's a Wonderful Life/I? " Shannon asked and waited for him to answer her. When he finally nodded she continued. "Okay, Boone and I, well, we're kind of like your Clarence and Clarice. Except I don't think we're getting wings or whatever."

"Uhhh, so what are you supposed to do, show me what life without me in it is like?" Hurley asked as he clawed at his eyebrow, confused as to why both of them had to show him what was going on.

"Yeah."

"Wow, Boone, way to be sympathetic" Shannon snapped and Hurley rolled his eyes. Here they go again, he sighed.

"Shan, he gets a choice, one that I believe that neither of us got" Boone replied, his tone acrid as he pointed toward Hurley. But then again, if he'd been the one to crash in a drug plane with nothing to show for it, he guessed he'd be bitter too.

Was that what was going to happen to him? He'd spend the rest of his life with Shannon and Boone being bitter and mediating fights? There had to be other things to do, maybe Shannon spent time watching over Sayid? Would he spend his days watching over Claire?

Claire, from the second he met her he knew that she was special. Most people would have noticed how beautiful she was, but the first thing he noticed was her smile. In fact her whole demeanor, from the crash onward just seemed to calm him. They'd even been close friends, sleeping next to one another those first few nights, before she lost her memory.

Yeah, and after she came back, she thought I was just Charlie's fat friend, he added, realizing that the bitterness was coming easier than he thought. Things never worked out for him with girls, they either liked someone else or wanted him for his money. Claire had been different, but Charlie had gotten to her first, the second time around. And it sucked, a lot.

"Bitter much?" Shannon asked, and he blanched, before realizing that she was talking to Boone. No one knew about his crush on Claire, he reassured himself, and that was the way it was going to be. He didn't need Boone or Shannon weighing in on his feelings, he saw what they did to one another, he didn't want to be their next target.

"And if I remember correctly, you could have lived if you lost your leg. I was the one who got shot" Shannon spat, her dark eyes wild as the anger played on her face.

"Way to make this all about you Shan. And in less than five minutes. I'm impressed" Boone taunted her, slowly clapping his hands together in a mocking tone. Did they get off on this? Was this their version of foreplay, or did they really hate one another?

"Screw you Boone."

Yeah, I'm going with option number two right now, Hurley thought to himself and crossed his arms over his chest. This was going to take a while.

"You know with all this sexual language, I might get an idea that you actually want me" Boone leered.

"Dream on."

"Um, guys? Isn't this supposed to be about me" Hurley asked, finally having enough of the leering and the flirtation and hatred that was going on between the two of them. Plus, he wanted some answers even he had his limits.

"Yeah, sorry. Some people are big babies" Shannon snapped, glaring at her brother, and led them onto the beach without another word.

Hurley stared out at the expanse of sand and ocean in front of him, shocked to see how few people were around. He saw Sayid, hunched over his makeshift bench and hobbled closer, determined to see what he was working on. "Hey Sayid, what's going on man?" Hurley asked, without thinking and then blanched when he realized that Sayid was looking right through him and toward another cast away. And not just any cast away, Shannon.

However, this Shannon, unlike his perfectly manicured guide, was haggard looking. And unlike the Sayid he knew, this Sayid did not look too pleased to see her. "Dude, what the hell?" Hurley shouted at the two siblings, who were standing off to the side, quietly watching the scene in front of them.

"You don't exist in this reality, Hurley" Shannon gently reminded him with an uncomfortable smile. Hurley didn't know Shannon that well, but what he did know was that she shifted a lot when she wasn't happy about something. "No one can see you, or us for that matter. You just kind of watch."

"Uh, okay" Hurley shrugged, realizing that there was little he could do to change the dynamics of the situation in front of him. So he moved toward a free branch and sat down, idly wondering if he could get popcorn or something, since it was kind of like a movie.

"Sayid, you have to believe me. There are only five of us left. You, me, Jin, Walt and Sawyer. Walt's just a kid, Sawyer's still got that broken leg and Jin... Jin hasn't been the same since they took Sun." Shannon pleaded as she leaned closer to Sayid desperation evident in her tone.

Wait, there were only five of them? What happened to the rest of them? And that was a random mix of people. Nothing against her, but he never would have thought that Shannon would be the one girl to survive. That honor went to Kate, she was always doing shit, plus she was a fugitive, that took cajones.

"And there would be six if you had not shot Locke" Sayid replied turning back to his maps, clearly not happy with the interruption. This was nothing like the Shannon and Sayid he knew, who both flirted over the maps and spent more time making goo goo eyes than actually doing work.

"He murdered Boone, Sayid! You heard Jack, Locke was a murderer!" Shannon shouted, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes as she angrily forced her hair behind her ear with a frail wrist.

"And now, Shannon, so are you. Without Locke we do not have someone who can track if indeed we are under attack" Sayid argued, not looking up from his maps.

Hurley blanched, he'd never have thought that Sayid would act this way to Shannon. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he'd been this cold to Sawyer. No wonder Shannon didn't look too happy with this reality, she was so alone, even when she was asserting herself.

"He murdered Boone" Shannon huffed as a stray tear fell from her face. She wrapped her arms tighter around her mid-section and scowled, probably angry that she'd even showed a bit of emotion.

Hurley glanced over at 'his' Shannon, and noticed, even though she was dead, she was much more content than the one interacting with Sayid.

"This is getting us nowhere Shannon. What is it that you heard" Sayid sighed, humoring her. Hurley could tell when people were just saying things to get someone to leave, and that's exactly what Sayid was doing. He thought she was crazy, which sucked, because he had been one of the only people to believe in her in his reality.

"The others are coming back." Shannon stated, her eyes looking around for something as her back tensed, and Hurley couldn't help but notice how eerily similar to the french chick she was acting. Well, they both spoke french and had a relationship with Sayid, he mused.

"They have not been back since Sawyer finally killed Ethan" Sayid replied, his focus now on the transceiver.

"I'm telling you, they're coming back" Shannon argued, shifting in front of Sayid, trying to get his attention.

"Shannon, you have not slept since the last attack" Sayid sighed, and Hurley felt relieved, at least there was a bit of the Sayid he knew here. His non existence didn't exactly cause a one eighty, which was nice, especially since he wasn't sure he could undue this wish. Shannon may have said that she and Boone were his Clarence and Clarice, but she might have just been speaking metaphorically.

"Well, I'm sorry but watching Jack get his neck snapped and then Sawyer shooting Ethan as he was grabbing after me isn't something that lulls me to sleep at night."

Dude, was she serious? Ethan? The first time he heard Sayid say the name, he thought he had misheard. He wasn't so good with accents, even though he was Hispanic.

"Shannon perhaps you are hallucinating."

"I know what I heard. They're coming. You can believe me or not. It's your funeral, but I'm going to be ready" Shannon huffed and stuck a gun in her back pocket before walking away, leaving Sayid to his maps and the transceiver.

"Dude, Ethan?" Hurley asked with wide eyes as he stared at Boone and Shannon. There was no way that Ethan had just died, he remembered when Charlie shot him. It was right after Claire came back and they'd found out he wasn't on the manifest.

"You weren't around to create a census. So no one bothered to check the manifest and everyone assumed that Ethan was one of them" Boone answered him.

"He killed everyone?"

"Well, not everyone. Like she said, Sayid, Shan, Jin, Walt and Sawyer are still alive here. And I still died in the plane and Shan shot Locke, but yeah the others destroyed the camp."

"Was Claire the first?" Hurley asked as he swallowed hard, remembering the way that she had come back, shaking and wet with no memory. What did they do to her? To all of them? He didn't think it was as quick as Shannon shooting Locke was, not by a long shot.

"Umm... no" Shannon breathed and Hurley caught the sad look in her eye. She knew, he didn't know how she knew, but she knew about his crush. Great, now he was going to hear about it for the rest of his afterlife.

"Why, what happened to her?"

"She didn't make it past the first day" Boone answered him, scratching at his eyebrow as he stared past Hurley to Shannon with a hint of something akin to lust in his eyes. Hurley just hoped that he would wait to act on that until after he was out of hearing range.

"What?"

"Yeah, without you to help her get away from the fumes, she got carbon monoxide poisoning and died" Shannon answered with a frown. He knew they'd been friends, so this news must have been hard for her to tell him as well.

"Oh" Hurley mouthed as he felt the guilt rise from within. Without him, the one girl he thought he could really feel something for on the island was dead. And so was everyone else, and if they weren't dead they were miserable. Shannon was without both her brother and Sayid, Walt didn't have a father, Sayid didn't have anyone to lean on, Jin lost Sun and Sawyer, well, Sawyer was Sawyer.

"Yeah" Shannon pouted and leaned against her brother. Maybe the retorts were their version of foreplay after all. The undead had needs, he was realizing, and maybe they were satisfying each others? That was the only justification for this he could come up with, the whole step sibling thing grossed him out on the Brady Bunch, so imagining the two of them doing it in real life was not so good either.

But it did get his mind off of Claire. It was strange, knowing that his life had a direct impact on hers, and even if she didn't reciprocate, her living was greater than her well, dead. In fact, this whole reality sucked. He couldn't be that cursed if only five people lived without him around, right?

"Dude, can like, I live now? This reality sucks." Hurley asked as he looked from Boone to Shannon. He wanted to go back to his reality and actually celebrate his life and the holiday and everything. If this glimpse at what life without him was like taught him anything it was to celebrate each day, like his abuelo told him, because people often forget that.

Shannon walked over to him and gave him a small smile, nodding her head. She leaned into him, her svelte figure pushing against his arm as her hand cupped his ear. "Tell her" she whispered with a knowing tone. "You'll regret it if you don't" she added with a hint of sadness, before stepping away.

"So like what do I have to do? Click my heals three times?"

But instead of getting an answer, he woke up to the loud screech of the hatch alarm. "Dude, are you serious?" he asked as he punched in the numbers, hoping that his hatch duty was over soon. He looked up, seeing Sayid in the corner, coming to take his turn monitoring the computer. Overjoyed, Hurley began to think of ways to get this little Christmas party under way, they only had a few more hours before sunset.

He frowned as he pushed himself out of the chair. Sayid always looked so sad now, without Shannon. But at least he wasn't as angry and hard as the other Sayid had been. He nodded in acknowledgment of the other man and began to walk past him, determined to get his fiesta underway, when he turned back, remembering what Shannon had said to him.

"Hey, uh, Sayid?"

"Yes Hurley?" Sayid replied, as if he was uncertain what Hurley would want with him. Not that he blamed him, Hurley had been avoiding Sayid ever since Shannon's death, uncertain what to say. 'Death sucks, doesn't it' didn't exactly seem appropriate.

"She uh..." he stammered, wondering if this was his place. But then again, it wasn't like Shannon wold ever get a chance to say it, and it sure as hell looked like she wanted to, so why not? The worst she was going to do was haunt him, and he figured that'd take a while. She had to make Ana pay still. "She really loved you man" Hurley said finally, scratching his eyebrow as he waited for Sayid to respond.

"Shannon?" He whispered reverently as his eyes glassed over with unshed tears. "How do you know this?"

'Oh I saw her undead self and she told me' he thought to himself as he bit down on his lip, trying to come up with an acceptable response. Sayid was a man who did not believe in the supernatural, so nothing like that would work. "She uh, told me, once. That's why I've been avoiding you, because uh, I wasn't sure if I should tell you" he said finally, hoping that this was convincing enough for Sayid.

"Thank you, Hurley" Sayid replied before bursting into tears.

"Yeah, Merry Christmas, err Happy early Ramadan" Hurley replied and walked away, toward the food closet. While a lot of it had been eaten when he decided to share it with everyone, there was still some left, and that plus a boar or two might be enough for a feast. He just had to go find Locke and everything would be all set.

Hours later, Hurley had everything ready. Locke had been more than willing to hunt boar, bringing back a big one, and that plus a few fish was more than enough to feed everyone. Some other survivor, Hillary, had helped decorate a tree, and it looked pretty good given the lack of supplies they had readily available.

Now everyone was off doing their own thing. Jack and Kate were by the ocean flirting, Jin and Sun were feeding food to one another off each others plates and Rose and Bernard were giving each other chaste kisses and holding hands by the fire. The only people absent were Sayid, who had hatch duty, Claire and Aaron. He was about to look for both of them, when he felt small arms snake behind him.

"Happy Christmas"he heard a distinctly Australian accent whisper in his ear. Turning, he saw Claire with a playful smile on her face as she dangled a plant above their heads.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I couldn't quite find mistletoe, so this'll have to do" Claire replied with a smirk that Hurley couldn't help but find sexy as hell.

"Excuse me?" Hurley asked, shocked that she wanted him to kiss her. This couldn't be happening, she was with Charlie.

"No, that's not the proper response for this situation" Claire teased and looked up at him. "Look, it's okay if you don't want to, I just have been wanting to do this for a while and I just got up the courage and..."

Hurley smiled and pressed his lips against hers, not allowing her to finish. The kiss was chaste at first, but Claire soon was seeking out his mouth, their tongues dancing together as they continued. Hurley could not believe this was happening, but did not want it to end. The feeling of her mouth on his was something he could not describe, nor did he want to.

They finally broke apart and he stared at her, dazed and confused but blissfully happy. She'd wanted him after all, and for all the curses that were upon his head, real or otherwise, this more than made up for it. Leaning down he found her mouth once more, reveling in the way that they fit together. Although he never would have believed it had he not experienced it, this was the best Christmas ever.


End file.
